


Buffy Anne Summers - Psych Profile

by a2zmom



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Angst, Gen, Humor, Introspection, Meme, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-15
Updated: 2005-12-15
Packaged: 2017-10-04 16:24:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a2zmom/pseuds/a2zmom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written as part of the "70 Questions" thing that's sweeping Live Journal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Buffy Anne Summers - Psych Profile

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks, as usual, to tkp, the better part of my brain for helping me clarify some stuff.
> 
> Thanks to nemo_gravis for a great idea.

Is this on? (Thumping noise). It's working?

OK, Giles has asked me to fill out this shrink test, so it's Tuesday, December 13th, 2005. Hey Giles, if I flunk does this mean I'm not the slayer any more? All right Dawn, a slayer.

And if you're wondering, I'm doing it into a tape recorder so I can whittle a few stakes at the same time. That's me, super efficient girl.

Dawn, the People magazine just happens to be open. I'm not reading it. Why are you in the room?

Well, just be quiet then.

1\. DO YOU SNORE?  
Well, no one's ever complained. Dawn, I heard that crack.

2\. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?  
I'm a vampire slayer, so my job naturally calls for a lot of fighting. But, as far as the inner me goes, I think I'm more of a lover.

I do not solve everything with my fists. If you don't leave this room, you'll never borrow my clothes again.

3\. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?  
MY family and friends getting hurt because of me.

4\. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?  
I had a whole bunch of Barbies. And Polly Pockets! I forgot all about that. I used to love those things.

5\. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV?  
I've got more than enough reality in my life.

6\. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?  
No.

I saw that smirk.

7\. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?  
Mom used to tell me that people would stop her on the street just to tell her how cute I was.

8\. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?  
I'd rather not be single but some of my dating choices in the past has been less than stellar. So, I'm taking a breather right now.

9\. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?  
Ah, dirty? I'm not really the tech girl.

10\. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?  
Yeah.

11\. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?  
Adrenaline rushes are kind of the norm in my life, so no.

12\. ANY SECRET TALENTS?  
I'm pretty flexible. Dawn, you did not hear me say that.

13\. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?  
Some place where there are no vampires and no demons.

14\. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?  
I'm gearing up for patrol by then, so I don't watch him. He's got that chin thing going though. Has Giles made sure that he's not a demon?

15\. CAN YOU SWIM?  
I'm a California girl.

16\. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?  
Isn't that the movie with Jake Gyllenhaal in it? He's such a hottie.

What? I don't care how many Oscar nominations it's going to get, it's rated R, so give it up.

I forgot your birthday was that close. Sorry. And I wasn't denying the Heath/Jake goodness.

I was listening to you. I just went to a sort of visual place for a moment.

That's a very good point. Maybe Willow could magic us up a copy.

I sort of forgot the original question.

17\. DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?  
Willow gave an hour long presentation at one of the council meetings, so yes. (lowered voice)I forget, is ozone good or bad?

18\. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE ROLL POP?  
Is that like a dirty question? Cause I'm not answering it.

19\. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?  
Z, Y, X, V…or should that be U? huh.

20\. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?  
Yes.

21\. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?  
No. I mean, yes. I mean, can I skip this question?

22\. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?  
I buy my pencils sharpened. And then they get lost before I have to worry about it.

23\. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?  
Shooting Bambi and Thumper with a shotgun? No way.

24\. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?  
I'm not thinking that far ahead.

25\. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?  
My handwriting is fine.

That's not why I'm using a tape recorder. Giles never said that. And it's impossible anyway. A baboon would have to have a reprehensible thumb to hold a pencil.

26\. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?  
Sometimes vampire dust makes me sneeze but no real allergies. Slayer constitution and all that jazz.

27\. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"?  
It was a very private moment. That's all I'm going to say.

28\. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?  
In my line of work, I've learned nothing's impossible. So maybe.

29\. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?  
I would if any of my friends ever tie the knot.

30\. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?  
My mom used to make the thing called picture frame egss where you poke a hole in a slice of bread, put it in a frying pan, then break an egg in the hole and saute the whole thing.

I still miss that.

31\. ARE BLONDES DUMB?  
Reminder that I am sharpening stakes right now.

32\. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?  
With all those lost pencils.

33\. WHAT TIME IS IT?  
4:20 PM. I can't figure out how these questions are supposed to tell anybody anything.

34\. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?  
None that I like.

35\. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?  
Did you know the Doublemeat Medley is actually made of vegetables? It's like this huge secret. Amazing, right?

36\. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR, AND WHO WERE YOU WITH?  
This morning. I drove Dawn to check out this clothing store.

You did not see the grim reaper three times. None of that was my fault.

37\. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?  
Baths. With bath oils, scented candles and low music. And maybe a special someone.

You didn't hear that either, Dawn.

38\. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?  
Accoring to Anya, yes, and she would have known.

39\. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?  
I am not blushing.

Next question.

40\. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?  
I'm the slayer. The dark's afraid of me.

41\. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?  
I've seen good people, people I love, almost destroyed by addictions. So, nothing.

42\. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?  
Crunchy. And why does saying that make me feel melancholy?

43\. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?  
I can crack things you've never even heard of.

Ah, Dawn, you never…good.

44\. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?  
Yes, and I hope I never have to again.

45\. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?  
Once. Plus I flossed and used Listerine.

46\. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?  
If my reflexes aren't one hundred percent, I could be dead, so yeah. Plus drugs lead to big snake demons and chains.

47\. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?  
Based on stuff that's happened while I've slept, I have to say yes.

48\. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?  
Hazel. They change depending on what I'm wearing. Or if you're a demon and you piss me off.

50\. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?  
I do. I never thought I'd say that, but yeah.

51\. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS?  
Three earrings in each ear. I had to have a tatoo removed once.

You don't know that story and you're still not going to know it.

52\. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?  
Sometimes I have these dreams that come true. But not normally.

53\. HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?  
No. I just didn't have a lot of time for schoolwork in Sunnydale, with the constant end of the world stuff. But I have more time now, so I'm trying to catch up. I just read "Great Expectations". Pip was kind of a jerk, wasn't he?

54\. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?  
No.

55\. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?  
When I was six, I took a ball from a toy store. My mom made me bring it back and apologise.

56\. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?  
I've never tried but I'm naturally athletic.

57\. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?  
Bugs, no bathroom and you sleep on the ground. I don't think so.

58\. DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?  
No.

Dawn, if you want to live you won't say anything.

59\. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?  
This test is being given by the Council? Or is this one of those gimme questions so everybody gets at least 5 points?

60\. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?  
What are my other choices?

61\. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?  
Yes.

62\. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?  
I was three years old when that was big! What do I look like?

63\. DO YOU MAKE MANY MISTAKES?  
Every time I do, people get hurt.

64\. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?  
50 degrees. Kind of chilly.

65\. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?  
Dawn and I stopped off at this little tratoria and had gelato.

66\. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?  
Always. No reason not to look your best.

67\. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN KISSED?  
Oh, yeah.

68\. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?  
Don't really watch a lot of TV. Plus it's in Italian.

69\. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?  
No.

70\. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?  
Willow just turned me on to the new Kate Bush album.

Is that the end? Dawn, how do you turn this thing off?


End file.
